Bump

By request from my “adoptive” family in Texas (Hola Garcias!) I’m trying to get out from behind the camera and get in front of it. Long before I was pregnant I had all these ideas for cute scrapbook layouts, week by week, month by month. I would tear out ideas from magazines and save them. Well, here we are, 16 weeks into this journey and not a single photo of me or the nugget-bump. Oops! 

So I had Andy take some photos tonight. He snapped a few quickly and I decided we need to work on some things. Like, it’s okay to say “Let’s try that one again, you’ve got a stupid look on your face.” Well, maybe not in those exact words, but you get the idea. So, I did a little cropping to take care of those and PhotoShopped the crap out of the others so I look, you know, “normal”. It’s not so much the pasty pale skin (although I went with B&W to help that), or the tiny wrinkles around my eyes (I left those in), but it’s the bags under my eyes! I left those in on one photo for your viewing displeasure. Gross! Guess that’s the look of a soon-to-be-mother, no? :-)

 

Yep. There’s definitely a bump there!

 

And let’s not forget my first baby…

Some boys were getting a bit jealous I think.

16 weeks, one day. So far so good. Just waiting to actually feel the growing nugget any day now. We head back to the doctor for our gender ultrasound on March 17th. Keep your fingers crossed my babynugget cooperates and gives us a little show so we can tell what we’re having! (And, keep your toes crossed that it’s a boy nugget!!)

Dramatic Baby

We were so lucky to have gotten a video of part of the ultrasound! The nugget was jumping all around for the first part of the ultrasound and the u/s tech kept trying to get the baby to flip over on it’s back. She was poking around, having me flip to one side, flip to the other, cough, sit up, just anything to get Nugget to move. Then, she caught this on video, as if the baby is saying, “Oh fine! If I must!” We laughed and laughed and the baby finally turned!

The Business of Being Born

I recently renewed my Netfilx subscription (love!) and decided to watch The Business of Being Born after a girl on one of my Preggo forums mentioned it. It really got me thinking and wondering about my options for our “birth plan.”

Years ago I was terrified of needles. Deathly afraid. So, I thought there was no way in hell I’d ever consider an epidural. (I’ve seen the videos of those; the needles are bigger than my arm and they want to stick it in between my spine?!) But, I’m one to face my fears head on so I got myself a couple tattoos and decided needles aren’t so bad afterall. I’ve also had the displeasure of experiencing some pretty serious monthly cramps in my time and decided perhaps a prick of one giant needle might not be so bad to the alternative of a “natural” birth.

I’ve witnessed two births in person – one with mild drugs, one epidural, both with doctors in the hospital. The epidural seemed to be the way to go as far as being cognizant of what was going on AND having less pain. After that I thought I’d be an epidural-all-the-way kind of girl. And then I watched that movie tonight.

I saw women (including Ricki Lake) giving birth they way THEY chose – at home, in water, standing up, with clothes on, etc. And I realized, hey, maybe I don’t want to be all nekked, flat on my back, feet up in stirrups with my junk up and out for all to see. No, I really don’t. Who does? The water thing looked pretty comfortable. And rolling around on a yoga ball seems much better than people strapping down your thighs yelling at you to “Push!” and “Don’t forget to breathe!”

Now, I don’t know about the whole at home thing, that might be a little too much for me. I don’t really want to clean up that mess. But I am interested in what my options are, whether they’re normal or extreme. Nobody likes stark-white, sterile hospitals. And I’ve never been one to go to the doctor for anything other than my required annual checkup. The only reason I did is because they wouldn’t give me those lovely birth control pills without a checkup. Andy nearly carried me to the doctor one year b/c I was hacking up a lung for like two weeks. I don’t know why I don’t go to the doctor, or don’t take much medicine…it’s not that I’m afraid, I guess I just think my body is capable of healing itself. I like natural, homeopathic methods too. I dunno, I’m not a hippie or anything like that, I’ve just always been a little weird I guess. I like to go against the grain.

I am going to start seeing a midwife I think at my next visit. Not that I have anything against doctors, I just think a midwife might be more my style. Speaking of style, if I could have my way I think I’d have my birthing room like a spa…quiet and tranquil, dimly lit with relaxing scents, warm blankets and atmosphere with calming music. I want to keep some clothes on. None of this completely naked, Amazon woman stuff for me. And yeah, maybe one of those birthing tubs/mini pools and a yoga ball, just in case.  Of course, it would be reassuring to know there would be doctors and all that scary hospital equipment next door if necessary.

Think I can hook that up?!

Anyway, the movie was interesting and I would recommend it. But, I would like to hear stories and opinions of people of all kinds. Tell me about your past or current birthing plans – what did you like? Dislike? What would you do different or do again? Epidural? Meds? Nothing? Doctor? Midwife?

This is Really Happening

I’ve noticed my posts have been very few and far between since learning I was pregnant. This was partly due to my sheer exhaustion and inability to do much else than eat, go to work and attempt to do a little around the house. And today I realized the other part is due to my fear of saying anything, feeling anything just in case something went wrong. I couldn’t stand to think of feeling, experiencing, and discussing my sheer happiness with the world and then have it all ripped away from me.

While there is a small chance that could still happen, the risk shrinks a little every day. Plus, I’ve also realized that even if this baby is born and blessed with perfect health I will live the rest of my life coming to terms with the fact I have no control of the outside world and what will happen, today, tomorrow, or twenty years from now.  What I do know is that today we had an amazing 12 week appointment and ultrasound…Everything looked good! 

Our nugget has gone from a little tiny blob to looking like a real-life baby! Yes, for some reason I was slightly shocked. Lately I have been feeling almost not-pregnant. (Despite my bloated tummy, sore chest, and other pregnancy symptoms!) I tried to order some early maternity and baby stuff online this weekend but left the stuff in the online cart and shut it down. There was a tiny part of me that said, “No, just wait a couple more days until your appointment. How terrible it would be to have something be wrong and then have all this stuff delivered.” It was like I needed to see our baby again and get the good word from the doctor to be absolutely sure he or she was still there and doing well. :::sigh::: Thank goodness it all went great! I can’t imagine having to wait the full 20 weeks they originally told me I’d have to wait for my first ultrasound. That seems absolutely ridiculous!

We saw the head, heart, tiny arms and legs, little stomach…it was amazing. The little guy was jumping all over the place too! We were in there for quite a while trying to get him or her to settle down into the right position for the u/s tech to take the necessary measurements and I could not stop laughing! She said if the baby stretched out he/she would be about 4″ long! I knew there was supposed to be activity going on but I had no idea it was THAT much! We took a video of the baby being dramatic and throwing it’s little hand up to it’s forehead. SUPER cute! :::Squeal:::

So, I think it is FINALLY starting to sink in. I am absolutely pregnant. Odds are that we are really going to have a baby in less than 8 months. I’m not sure why this seems so weird to me. I’ve always wanted to have a baby, couldn’t wait to have one for a long period in my life in fact. I have witnessed two births in person and watched as nearly all my friends and family have had one, two, three, and more babies.  There are girls half my age and women almost twice my age that have given birth to healthy babies. Why has it been so difficult for me to believe that finally, this year I will get my turn?

I’ve been thinking that maybe it’s because for some reason I never realized life could be so good for me. I’ve learned how unfair Life can be at times so how is it that I finally have the wonderful life I once only dreamed about? I know that I have been very, very blessed. I have an amazing husband and having a family together will only make things more perfect. This is what life should be like for everyone. LOL – sorry to get so deep…I know I need to stop analyzing it and just enjoy it. Be thankful, and cherish every moment.

My Latest Project

My apologies Internet…it’s not that I haven’t missed you, I promise. It’s just that life got busy as it often does. Plus, I have big news. I’m not entirely lazy and swear I have a valid excuse. You see, I’ve been busy tending to this little thing:

Surprise! As tiny as it is (about 1″ right now at almost 10 weeks) I’ve been spending a lot of my free time eating, sleeping, and growing this baby.

 That’s right people, I’ve been busy crafting a baby. I am happy to say that I’ve been pretty lucky, no real morning sickness but I often feel “blah” if that makes any sense. We didn’t want to tell anyone until we made it through the first trimester but we had an ultrasound at 7 weeks and they said everything looked great and the heartbeat was strong at 166 bpm. The doctor said although bad things can still happen, since they saw a good u/s my risk has dropped to about 5%. So, we told the family at Christmas with framed photos of the ultrasound. Obviously everyone was excited and minutes later it was all over Facebook so I figured I may as well announce it myself.

So there you have it. I’m hoping to get back into the swing of things again soon but that being said, my life is changing this very moment so who knows what “normal” life will be in the coming months!

Andy & I had planned to celebrate the New Year with our neighbors but I wasn’t really feeling up to leaving the house so my wonderful husband went out and got us a bunch of movies and we played my new Clue: The Office board game. I feel bad for him at times, he’s not real sure what to do with a moody/hungry/tired/pregnant wife but he’s doing pretty well so far.

Happy New Year to all; wishing you all the happiness in 2010!

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